Shorty's Bar - A Disappointment Even For $2 Drinks


After being at a leadership development conference for two days I decided to meet up with my friend James and indulge in some of the locally available libations at Shorty’s Bar. Shorty’s is a subterranean college town dive bar populated by the students of Kutztown University and I had a great time visiting there until they cut me off for no apparent reason which for all intents and purposes is worse than being kicked out.

We arrived around 9:30PM before the usual crowd started to pile in and began consuming “$2 U-CALL-IT” LIT’s—made by pouring an unmarked mystery liquid out of a plastic bottle into a plastic ice filled 12oz cup until the cup is a third full, filling the rest of the way up with cola, adding a splash of sour mix—which weren’t very good or strong, but were only two dollars so we drank more than a few.  It took some effort, but by the time drunk college girls started to arrive we had strapped on a good buzz.  We introduced ourselves to a group of former girls’s basketball playing Kutztown Alumni and suggested they join us on our LIT adventure and they did and James decided it would be easier to order our drinks in bulk quantity and pour them all into pitchers for convenience and sharing purposes.  He is an innovator.  Like most geniuses of our time his advancement on the drinking process was not well received and the barman cut him off after a few pitchers and some shots.

Two of the basketball ladies were interested in us and made for some entertaining company, but the sweaty college dance floor has lost it’s appeal to me over the last six years so I decided to to explore the rear bar and look for some more entertainment.

The rear bar was run by impatient men in security shirts instead of bar tenders, but they helped me decide on a pitcher of kamikaze shots and security stopped by to remind us that James wasn’t allowed to drink any more.  About ten minutes later five security guards surrounded us and handed James his bill, which was surprisingly small for the number of drinks we had.  At this point they let me know that I also was no longer allowed to drink which I guess was just because I was sitting with James and we were the only two men at the table since I had been drinking at a very casual pace.


The security men stared James down and made serious faces while he signed his bill and I’m not sure what their intentions were other than to make things uncomfortable and if that was there intention they must have left unfulfilled because high spirits as lifted as ours are not easily brought down.  Then they let us know that we could stay as long as we pleased, but we could not drink which is a kiss of death not just for that bar, but also for that town.  As far as I can tell there are only two bars in Kutztown and Shorty’s has the advantage of having a large floor plan and seems to draw the most female presence which makes it practically the only place to go in Kutztown and I’m sure that fact is more than partly responsible for the poor attitude and experience provided by the staff.  The only two people that seemed welcoming were the bouncer who was dressed down that checked our ID’s (the head bouncer?) and the girl walking around with shots.  

We exchanged numbers with some of the girls we had been talking to and left for the Pub across the street which wasn’t nearly as fun because of the size and the population, but we managed to still have a good time and end the night strong.  All-in-all I think I had a good time at Shorty’s and would probably go back, but they left me with a bad taste in my mouth that was more a result of the angry staff than the drinks.