Ego is the Enemy

In a world that often celebrates self-promotion and the relentless pursuit of ambition, Ryan Holiday’s Ego is the Enemy is a breath of fresh air. The book isn’t just a cautionary tale against arrogance; it’s a guide to navigating life’s ups and downs with humility, discipline, and a focus on long-term goals rather than short-term validation. As someone with a deep interest in leadership and growth, the themes Holiday explores resonate profoundly with me, especially as they reflect on success, failure, and aspiration.

The Problem with Ego

At its core, ego is an unhealthy belief in our own importance. It’s self-centered ambition, the voice in our head that convinces us we deserve more credit or attention than we really do. The problem with ego, as Holiday points out, is that it’s artificial, while confidence is built on real achievement. One of the most profound insights I took from this book is how ego can distort our understanding of success. We like to imagine we have a larger role in our achievements than we actually do, which can make us complacent and blind to areas where we need to improve.

Learn from the Past: Ben Franklin and Cotton Mather

One of the book’s most impactful stories is about Benjamin Franklin and Cotton Mather. Mather told young Franklin, "Stoop, young man, stoop—as you go through this world—and you’ll miss many hard thumps." This message about humility hit home. In leadership and in life, it's often easy to become so engrossed in our own plans and aspirations that we forget to stoop—to stay humble, listen to others, and learn from those around us. Mather’s advice reminds me that humility is a form of strategic flexibility. Ego blinds us to the lessons others can offer, while humility opens doors to growth.

Genghis Khan: Master of Appropriation

Another striking example from the book is the story of Genghis Khan’s success through appropriation. Khan didn’t succeed because of his own genius alone; he appropriated the best practices from the cultures he conquered. This ability to learn from others, to see beyond ego and understand that no single person or idea has a monopoly on success, is crucial. As leaders, we should always be students, absorbing knowledge from our peers, mentors, and even competitors. This aligns with Holiday’s advice to spend a third of your time learning from others, a third with your peers, and a third teaching others. Ego resists this process; humility embraces it.

The Misstep of Xerxes

The cautionary story of Xerxes, who once tried to punish a river and wrote a letter to a mountain, exemplifies how ego can cloud judgment. Xerxes’s attempt to command nature itself is a vivid metaphor for the dangers of overconfidence. We often believe we can control everything, from outcomes to circumstances. But nature—and life—have a way of reminding us that we are not as powerful as we think. Ego leads us to believe that when things go wrong, it’s not our fault or that we don’t deserve the setback. Humility, on the other hand, allows us to take responsibility and move forward with clear, logical action.

The Power of Delegation: Dwight Eisenhower’s Lesson

One of my favorite stories is that of Dwight D. Eisenhower, a man who knew the power of delegation. Ego often convinces us that no one can do a job as well as we can, and that mindset prevents us from scaling our efforts. Eisenhower understood that to be truly effective, leaders must trust others and let go of the need to control every detail. It’s a lesson I’ve worked hard to apply in my own career: the more I delegate, the more I empower my team and create space for strategic thinking and innovation.

Stoic Strength in the Face of Failure: General Belisarius

Holiday also brings up the story of General Belisarius, a man who faced betrayal and lack of recognition with stoic resilience. His principle? “Do your job.” This is one of the most significant takeaways from the book for me. Belisarius didn’t let his ego get in the way of his duty. His loyalty was to his mission, not to his own recognition. In leadership, there will be moments when our hard work goes unnoticed or we are passed over for credit. The challenge is to push forward with strength, not out of ego, but out of commitment to our principles and long-term goals.

Moving Beyond Ego

What I love about Ego is the Enemy is its practicality. Holiday doesn’t just warn us of the dangers of ego; he offers solutions to combat it. His advice to continually ask, “What am I missing right now that a more humble person might see?” has stuck with me. Ego prevents us from seeing our own blind spots, but humility allows us to close the gaps in our knowledge and competence.

Another key lesson is to keep passion in check. Passion, as Holiday says, can be a burden. It’s not always reliable, and without control, it can lead to impulsive decisions. Determination and discipline, rather than passion, are the real drivers of success. Ego can make us feel invincible in the short term, but it’s discipline and continuous improvement that sustain long-term achievement.

Ego is the silent enemy that lurks in every success, failure, and aspiration. It’s what convinces us we’re better than we are, what blinds us to new learning, and what causes us to push forward without considering the bigger picture. Ryan Holiday’s Ego is the Enemy serves as a powerful reminder that true success comes not from feeding our ego, but from keeping it in check. Whether it's stooping to avoid hard thumps like Franklin or appropriating the best from others like Genghis Khan, the path to real achievement is paved with humility, discipline, and a willingness to always be a student of life.

Here are my notes and a link to the book:

Buy the book on Amazon here.